Category: Uncategorized

The El Salvador national team lost 1-0 to Panama last night in the World Cup qualifiers, which now means that making it to the World Cup is going to be a very tough battle. I’m heartbroken. I’m writing this from my $1,100 room in Santa Cruz, California, listening to Title Fight, and all I can think about is how my grandma immigrated to the States at 18 years old. How did I end up here? I can’t speak Spanish, and I’m studying film.

Like every mixed person out there, I have a hard time feeling a part of something. I’ll always get the dirty looks from old white people and the offhanded racist comments, but I’ll never feel fully Salvadoran.

From birth to nine years old, I lived in my dad’s white great-grandmother’s beach home in Seal Beach, California—probably one of the whitest places ever. My family might have been the only Salvadorans to live there in all of its history. As a child, I wanted straight, blonde hair so badly, and that really upsets me when I think about it now.

I’ve been around white people my whole life—most of my friends have been white, and I’ve dated white women. Sometimes I look at them, and it hits me that they’re never going to understand. It makes me wonder if there’s a limit to how close I can be with someone who will never understand such a big part of my life. I don’t know. I guess I’m writing this because watching El Salvador play, cheering for them, made me feel connected to my culture again.

The other day I was riding my vintage road bike back from the Santa Cruz Film Festival, wearing cut Dickies shorts and clogs, and I felt so disconnected from where I come from. But what I forget to realize is that my grandma and mom sacrificed so much and worked so hard so that I could be riding my vintage road bike back from the Santa Cruz Film Festival in my cut Dickies and clogs.

Thank you, Grandma, and thank you, Mom—the strongest people I’ll ever know.

Vamos Selecta.

I was on a train going from the coast of Japan back to Tokyo when I saw a family of five: a mother, father, older sister, and two younger brothers. They took up a whole bench and were completely passed out. It was an incredibly hot day, and after hours in the sun my brain felt drained. My eyes wandered around the train, settling on this family as they slept—heads bobbing, bodies shifting, constantly readjusting.

This went on for probably half an hour until the father woke up. After a few minutes, he glanced at his still-asleep family. His gaze was so endearing and loving that it felt special even from an outsider’s perspective.

It’s officially been a year since I moved out of my “parents’ house.” I put that in quotes because they’re divorced but still living in the same place while financial issues get sorted out. That enough could help you understand how my parent’s relationship has shaped and hurt me. Watching this big family sleep peacefully together, with the father looking over them, made me feel like I missed out on that kind of love as a child.

So often, when something in my life goes wrong, I feel like a small child again. Maybe all I really need is to fall asleep on a train while someone makes sure I’m safe.

My quiet obsession with this family ended when the father woke everyone up as their stop approached. The youngest son struggled to wake, and while the rest of the family got off, he stayed on the seat with his eyes closed. Seconds passed, and no one came back for him—an older woman finally grabbed him and rushed him off the train before the doors closed.

That moment snapped me back to reality. It made me realize that, in one way or another, we’re all going to carry scars from our childhoods. Our parents will disappoint us, and they’ll give us many of our problems. But that’s okay. We all end up okay.

Follow @humungulusrecords on Instagram

What is your name, where are you from, and what do you do?

My name is Max Miller, I’m from Long Beach, California, and I run an online record distro and record label. I’m also an audio engineering student at CSUDH and a musician.

Tell me a little bit about the record label that you have started.

So the idea to start my own label started as a really dumb joke between my best friend, Otto, and I when we were recording the first album for our punk band, Skookum. We didn’t take the whole music publishing process very seriously, so we were planning on just putting the music on streaming platforms and that was that, but we ended up joking around about names for a potential label that we would release music on. The name “Humungulus” just popped up and we thought it was funny; obviously it’s like a nonsense word, it’s a derivative of “humongous” but with the only vowel being “u” – humungulus. 

It started off as kind of a funny way of pretending to be a “legit” band, but it ended up becoming something that I and the band became genuinely passionate about. Since the release of our first album a couple years ago, we’ve put out other albums on Humungulus: Otto’s folk/indie/singer-songwriter album (Big Carrots Little Sprouts), a slowcore/emo/lofi demo I put out under the name cordis die (Call Of Duty reference btw), and a twee/indie-folk/lofi album by Ruby and our close family friend Bryce under Early Flea! (self-titled). There are definitely plans to record more stuff between Otto, Early Flea, Jake (singer of Skookum), and myself in the future.

The label actually very recently kind of sprouted into being a distro where I sell mainly emo, hardcore, screamo, and adjacent vinyl records, CDs, and cassettes. I have been reselling physical media, working in record stores , and collecting records for the better part of 5 or 6 years, so the change came pretty naturally. Initially it was a “no fucking way I can make this work” sort of thing, but once I got started, it just started happening super fast and here we are!

What inspired you to start it and what are your goals?

So I already mentioned how the concept for the label was inspired from a kind of non-serious need for a professional aesthetic for Skookum’s music, but the inspiration to venture into the online record store actually came from my time working at a record store. I have been working at a record store in Long Beach for almost three years now, and in that process, I learned the ins and outs of purchasing, wholesale, distribution, and what people are into and want to buy. I was really intent on getting a lot of hardcore that I grew up with in the store, and I also wanted to fill the store with a bunch of emo records, which was a genre of music that I only recently came to love dearly. But after my boss put me on his shitlist (for no reason at all), and consistently disregarded my intent to get more of that type of music in the store, I began to get really fed up and disappointed with my situation. I wanted people to have access to that kind of music, but I wasn’t able to at my work, so one day I just thought to myself “I can do this myself and do it way better than you.” So in a way, the distro was inspired by spite, but also by my passion for the music and the physical media, lmao.

As far as my goals go, for right now I just want to get the label on steady pace; right now I’m still in the process of building up a strong inventory of records and CDs, so I’ve been spending a fuck ton of money, and obviously not getting a lot of it back even though I’ve been making a lot of sales over the month and a half that I’ve been operating. I just want to get out of the beginning stage of the business so that I can return to a state of financial stability haha. 

Another general goal I have is to make the music as accessible as possible. I don’t upcharge a bunch and I always try to get the cheapest price online so that folks who want the music can buy it and feel happy about what they’re paying for. It’s honestly pointless for me to charge more for a record even if I know it’ll sell for that much because for one, that’s shitty; scalping is shitty. And two, my business model follows the principle of selling shit cheap so I can sell it fast. If I can sell it fast, then I can get more sooner and sell it fast again, and then I have returned customers because my prices are good! It’s really the perfect model for me because I don’t have a lot of overhead since I sell out of my parents’ house and don’t really care about the profit too much. When it comes to buying music in general, I’ve always tried to resell stuff I find just enough to where I can sustain myself and buy more stuff, if that makes sense.

The last major goal that I have is to make more music for the label. I have a lot of music that I’m cooking, and I’m just waiting for the right time and people to come along to help me with putting ideas together. I also am actively trying to connect with old, niche screamo bands to reissue their records that have been out of print for decades. We’ll see how both of those goals pan out considering how busy I already am though, lol.

I know your record label specializes in emo music, why is that? Why is emo music so special to you?

The short answer is this: because I love emo music. That’s basically the short story, but it requires some explanation because I also love hardcore and jazz and noise rock and ambient and a million other genres of music, so why did I not choose to specialize in any of those genres? I’ve found that there isn’t a definitive place you can go to online where you have an almost-complete array of emo at your fingertips to buy. There are hardcore stores, and jazz stores, but no emo stores. And for a genre of music that is coming back super strong right now, it seemed like it was a gap that was waiting to be filled. 

Also, it seemed like emo was a specialization that was feasible for me as a single 20 year old to tackle. All emo pre-2000s were entirely DIY, drawing from the DIY ethics of hardcore in the production, distribution, and performance of the music. Because of this, most of this era’s emo was never picked up by major labels, and the rights to the music were retained by small, independent labels. Now, many of those labels in question (Dischord, Ebullition, Revelation, etc) – and many labels that sprouted during the emo-revival scene of the early-mid 2010s (Count Your Lucky Stars, Run For Cover, etc), make it very easy to work with them and give you decent wholesale prices for records and CDs. Labels like Ebullition make it very simple and easy to get your hands on records by arguably some of the greatest screamo bands of all time (Orchid, Portraits of Past, etc), whereas trying to get major label titles becomes insanely difficult unless you have the capacity and the capital to order thousands of dollars of product every month, or forfeit any sort of profit you make on your margins. Essentially, the nature of the scene made it possible for me to do it, coupled with the fact that I’m deeply involved and in love with the scene.

And the reason why I love emo is something that I’m not sure if I can fully explain. As a Gen Z music nerd, emo made me feel like I was heard. I’m constantly depressed by the state of the world and the constant negativity that the media shoves down our throats, and I’m always livid and angry because of the system we live in and because of the politicians who treat working class people like numbers on paper. Emo and screamo made me feel heard because that is what emo embodies for me: sadness and angst, and a need to be heard and let others who feel similarly know that they are heard. In that way, having music and art about depression, suicide, anger, emotional vulnerability, existentialism, and discontent with the world makes me feel like I can handle and understand those feelings better. It’s a community that is united by a shared want for more, and bounded by a need to stay close and care for each other. And I obviously love the music so much, but both of those things combined is why I feel like emo is so special to me.

What are some struggles you have come across? How do you plan on using those struggles to grow?

My main struggle is money. I’m like so close to going into credit card debt because I started the business with maybe $1,000 in my own money, which is not a lot lol. Trying to get the cash and trying to use my credit cards effectively and get returns on my investments is the main struggle for me at the moment. I suppose I’ll use that struggle to grow by using it as motivation to advertise better and figure out how I can get more customers and to manage my spending behavior better.

Space is also a major struggle. I live in a small house with no garage or bedroom space, so everything business-related happens in my living room, which is already cramped to begin with. Not really much room to grow from that, but it’s definitely forcing me to be more efficient when it comes to storage.

Most of my struggles are more practical than anything, but I also struggle with time a lot. Between school, and my actual job, and the business, hobbies and playing music take the backseat. I usually don’t have the time to make music or anything like that because other aspects of my life take priority. Thankfully my partner of 4 years has been extremely supportive and has become my foundation in life, and she has helped me manage my time better and make it possible for me to do everything I’ve been doing and remain somewhat sane.

If people didn’t already know you are a very talented musician yourself, what does music mean to you? Why do you think you are so drawn to it?

“very talented musician” is a stretch haha, but I do play music. Music for me is a way to express myself in a way that is essentially boundless; free from convention and judgement. It’s a form of expression that I really connect with because of how free it makes me feel, and as I listen to more and more music, I get to create music that is inspired by musicians that I look up to, and that’s a great feeling. 

I feel like I’m drawn to music because it’s a form of expression that I don’t find to be a nuisance or one that I actually have some capacity with. I can actually make music and I find it fun to make music, so that’s why I’m drawn to music.

Do you have any plans for your own music?

So like I said, I already have a demo out under the name “cordis die,” and I’m in the process of making more stuff for that project, both full versions of demos and new songs that I’ve written over the last few months. I’ve also had thoughts about starting a noisegrind/emoviolence project with just myself and electronic drums. Sounds cool, but idk if or how it’ll pan out. That being said, I do love collaborating and take any chance I get to play and make stuff with other musicians, so hmu if you’re interested!

Lastly, what have been some of your favorite bands lately? And where can people buy their music?

I may ramble a lot but I’ll try to keep things concise. I’ll mainly stay within emo and try to get a variety of bands from different eras and movements.

Jeromes Dream is a band that I have been listening to non-stop for months now and highly recommend them to anyone into emo and to anyone who wants to feel like they don’t know what the fuck they are listening to lol. For anyone unfamiliar, they are one of the pillars of what is considered “emoviolence” (screamo meets powerviolence). JD is fucking raw, spastic, all over the place, and utterly fucking depressing. It’s music that gets you riled the fuck up and then makes you contemplate life within the span of 20 seconds. They were a huge group in the late 90s, early 00s screamo scene, but just reunited in 2018/19. The last album they put out in 2024 (The Gray in Between) goes insanely fucking hard. It’s impossible not to bang your head to (pun intended).

Another group that I’ve very heavily connected with over the last year is Purl. Purl was an extremely short-lived project of various musicians in the mid-90s San Diego emo scene, members of legendary bands like Julia, Lumber, and Papillion. I think they may have only been active for a few weeks, but in those few weeks, they recorded like 3ish hours of material all on a 4 track tape recorder, and the music they created is fucking gorgeous. The music genuinely is beautiful, and the mix of slowcore, post rock, and emo bakes such a dense notion of melancholy and emotion into the music despite the fact that there is no singing at all. For anyone who is into Duster, you would probably dig it. Insanely underrated, I’ve cried to their music on multiple occasions.

Unwound is another band that I’ve been listening to a ton lately. Not one album by them is not fucking awesome; their blend of emo, noise rock, and post hardcore is absolutely unmatched, and the post rock and experimental rock elements they add towards the end of their original run as a group made for some of the greatest music ever. Their first album “Fake Train” and their last album “Leaves Turn Inside You” are my two favorites by them, and everything in between are gems as well.

Algernon Cadwallader I would say has been in constant playlist rotation for weeks now. The best way I could describe them is twinkle-emo meets math rock. Very much in the vein of American Football, but Algernon is able to convey an insanely rich feeling of playful nostalgia and melancholy that is really hard to put your finger on. They are super unique and fun, don’t let some of the wacky song titles fool you!

Rites of Spring is one of my other favorites as of late, and for like 3 or 4 years as well. RoS was arguably the first “emo” band despite their refusal of the genre name. They really set the stage for every band that followed and they set the bar really fucking high. Listen to them if you haven’t already!

I feel like this list wouldn’t be complete without some mention of First Day Back. The strongest and coolest band coming onto the scene right now for sure. They definitely wear their influences on their sleeve (I mean the name is a Braid reference, cmon guys), but their debut album is literally everything I want and more out of an emo album. They are legitimately gonna go on to be huge, I can already tell. I bet they’ll be on next year’s Best Friends Forever lineup, they’re too good to be unnoticed.

 And for the last part of the question, you can buy records by these artists (minus purl and First Day Back) on my website! Go support the artists directly via bandcamp or their websites if possible, but if supporting me is a possibility, I got all that shit and much much more!

What is your name, where are you from, and what do you do?

My name is Isabelle Linnea Breslin, and I’m from Burlingame, California. I do a lot of things—I’m a florist and a multimedia artist.

What is art, and what makes someone an artist?

I have this debate with my dad all the time because he’s one of those people who doesn’t appreciate modern art and only sees fine arts as valuable. I think art can be anything that evokes something from the viewer—and I don’t think it even has to be intentional. I’d say an artist is someone who uses mediums to evoke something, which is broad, but true.

What is it about creating that you love so much?

It’s kind of just in my nature—not to be that person, but it’s something I’ve always done. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve questioned it more, but I think it’s something I need to do. It’s how my brain is wired. My parents have definitely influenced me—they’re both very artistic. My dad is a really good artist, and pretty much everyone in my family is artistic. My mom would always put me and my sisters in art classes, and we kind of have a legacy at this one art studio because we’ve all gone there since we were really young. My sister Sophia is pursuing comics and illustration, and my sister Emma studies art history and studio arts. That’s kind of off-topic, but yeah—as I’ve grown up, I’ve realized that I need time to create, otherwise I go insane.

You mentioned wanting to incorporate environmental advocacy into your artwork. Why is that important to you?

I really aspire to find something where I can integrate all of my interests into my career. I’m really indecisive—I’m sure you’ve noticed—but finding intersections between my interests is very important to me. The environmental stuff, in particular, is something that really stresses me out, and it should stress everyone out because it’s so pressing. Environmentalism intersects with everything—there are studies that show things like how shootings are more likely to occur on hotter days. That’s a random example, but there are so many intersections. I think art is a powerful way to get your point across. It doesn’t have to be political, but it can be—and it’s always vital to political or counter-movements.

Tell me about some of the mediums you’ve been working with lately.

I’m a trash lover. If anyone goes into my room, there’s trash on my walls—but it’s beautiful trash. There’s this whole wave of trinkets nowadays, but people don’t understand trinkets like I do. As a kid, my family called me the magpie because I’d go into my sisters’ rooms and steal their trinkets to hide under my pillow.

Anyway—mediums. Lately, I’ve been honing in on ceramics, which connects to environmentalism because it’s literally sourced from the earth. I really love hand-building—you can see every pinch and impression. When you can physically see the time put into a piece, it makes it extra beautiful. I also love multimedia. I made this one teapot where I used a bunch of beads and random trinkets to make the handle—it was kind of like a “junk necklace,” if you’ve ever seen one of those.

I recently took a black-and-white film photography class, and we worked in the darkroom and everything. Again, it comes back to process and being hands-on. I was doing test strips over and over—going in and out and in and out. There’s something about film and analog that makes photos so much more beautiful.

I know you want to transfer to art school soon. Tell me about where you want to go and why that’s important to you.

I’m looking to transfer to SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design) in Georgia. They’re known for their connections and internship opportunities, and Savannah is just really beautiful. I’ve always had an interest in Georgia—it feels like a state that’s up-and-coming but also rich in culture.

Art school is tricky because it’s so expensive, but I think if you don’t go, you miss out on a certain kind of experience. I recently wrote a paper on The Tyranny of Merit: What’s Become of the Common Good by Michael Sandel, which talks about how college was originally meant to be a stepping stone for learning as much as you can—not just a ticket to a job. Art school gives you access to resources you can’t get elsewhere. For example, it’s really hard to find a darkroom outside of school. Same with ceramics—some studios in the Bay Area cost $400 a month, while community college is free. Honestly, community college is so valuable. I think everyone should go. Fucking community, bro. Anyway, shout out SCAD. The Bees.

Who are some artists that inspire you and your work?

I really love medieval art in all its forms. People have told me that some of my ceramic work looks like something you’d find in a tomb. I love art history in general, and how a piece can transcend time. Art’s timeless, bro.

My mom is a huge inspiration—especially when it comes to textiles. She’s an amazing artist, does really beautiful still lifes, and works in interior design. She’s also super supportive of me pursuing art, which I know a lot of parents aren’t.

You mentioned possibly doing an art residency at a Recology center. Tell me a little about that.

My ceramics teacher recommended it to me because she saw how much I love multimedia—that’s kind of the baseline for applying to the residency. Basically, you get to go through trash and make art with it. We’re really lucky in the Bay Area because people are much more conscious about this kind of thing compared to other places. I love junk and I love trash—Recology is the perfect intersection of all my interests. It feels like it was made just for me. So, hopefully, I get to do it.

Peace out.

Really enjoyed this talk with my good friend, go check out his Instagram! @cellar_door_cie

What’s your name, where are you from, and what do you do?

My name is Dominic Cabrera. I grew up in San Jose, and after high school, I moved down to San Diego for five years. In a way, I feel like I’m from both San Jose and San Diego. But also, when I was young, my mom would take me and my brother up to Oakland a lot, so Oakland feels like home too—and I just recently moved there.

Currently, I do a lot of filmmaking and am really trying to find a community to do that with, which I feel goes hand in hand. It’s impossible to talk about the filmmaking I do without mentioning the people who help bring that creativity to life. Before coming to Santa Cruz, I was super into music, and I want to get back into it once I’m a more established filmmaker. There are a lot of things I want to do, and filmmaking gives me the freedom and liberty to pursue those other passions.

How do you define what art is, and what makes someone an artist?

For me, experiencing art is about accessing feelings within myself and being able to express them clearly. That process—that act of expression—is art. It becomes even more substantial when it carries a message, whether it’s political, apolitical, personal—whatever.

That might sound vague, but I think it has to be. For example, my good friend Isaac is a computer engineer, and he talks about his work as if it’s art. It might be hard for him to pinpoint where the emotional aspect lies, but I think it’s still interpretive in that way.

So I’d say an artist is someone who’s driven by emotion to communicate meaning or a message through a medium. Ultimately, I think it’s hard to define what makes someone an artist. I don’t really think about it that much. I’m of the mindset that if I have the tools, then I’m going to make something. Whether someone considers that “art” or sees me as an “artist” is really up to them.

Tell me a little bit about Ten19 Productions.

Ten19 Productions is a collaborative filmmaking effort that my friend Keegan Thomas and I started. We just clicked on the kinds of stories we wanted to tell. We felt like the stories being told on campus didn’t feel real—they weren’t addressing the challenges facing society. He’s been through a lot with his family, and so have I. Those are the voices we want to represent, and we believe they need to be represented.

For me, I want to represent construction workers, sanitation workers, graffiti artists in big cities, educators—people with modest but noble jobs. That’s just an example of the kind of stories we’re drawn to. We connected deeply over that shared motivation and our determination to build careers around it.

We’re also investing in our own equipment so we can shoot whenever we want. That’s a big part of our ethos—just making stuff together. It all officially started in December 2024. Keegan lived at the address 1019, and that’s how the name came about. It’s still a placeholder name, though, because there’s another Ten19 Productions out in Florida. We don’t know if or when we’ll change it, but we’re not stressed about it.

Our main goal is to be our best artistic and filmmaking selves within a community. Just yesterday, we wrapped a shoot, and afterward, we all gathered in a circle and talked for an hour about what it meant to us. It was beautiful—so motivating to hear how much it meant to everyone involved.

I know you were double majoring in computer science and film. How do you balance those two very different studies?

It’s been a complete work in progress. Honestly, it’s been really difficult. I was taking film classes during fall quarter because I thought I was going to major in film. But I didn’t feel like we were learning what we needed to. I didn’t want to write more essays that felt like I was back in community college English classes. So I decided not to major in film and took a leave of absence during winter quarter to focus exclusively on videography—to really hustle.

This past year has been all about exploring and figuring things out. Because I was so dedicated to film, it definitely got in the way of my other studies. I’m currently in a bit of a limbo. I’m still in good academic standing, but I know the school is probably getting concerned. There’s definitely room for improvement when it comes to balancing everything.

What are some near-future goals you have, with production or otherwise?

I’d love to find a little spot in Oakland just for myself—nothing too big, just a space to create independently. I really value that independence. I also want to travel, especially to Europe—just explore a bit more.

Most importantly, I want to be able to walk into any space, talk to someone, and learn about their story. Since I started filmmaking, I’ve been surrounded by so many different artists and people, and you really have to stay curious. I want the courage to approach people who seem interesting, engage with them comfortably, and make them feel at ease too.

On a bigger note, I think our society has a really messed-up relationship with time. I just want to spend time with people and learn what they do—kind of like what you’re doing, man. (Let’s go, blogger shoutout!)

Who are some artists that inspire you—filmmaker or not?

I’m really inspired by artists who have overcome great odds to get where they are. Rappers come to mind first—people like Nipsey Hussle and Kendrick Lamar. Also, a lot of jazz musicians. I used to play jazz—or at least tried to—and when you study it, you learn about the greats from the ’50s and ’60s. People like Charlie Byrd, Thelonious Monk, and Ornette Coleman.

A lot of those musicians had to teach themselves or learned from community mentors. These were often underfunded or marginalized communities. Many of them died poor, but they still managed to master something so complex. That’s such a beautiful trade. And of course, it’s important to note that many of them were Black and Latino artists who overcame incredible challenges to do what they did.

Where do you want to be in 10 years?

In 10 years, I want to be living comfortably, sure—but real success for me would be building a group of people I can call family. People bonded through our stories and art. I want to be part of a community where we support and uplift each other. I just want to see everyone thriving.

I also want to support my own family—be the breadwinner after everything they’ve been through. That’s a big part of my motivation.

Lastly, anything you want to plug—current or future projects?

If you check out my Instagram, you’ll find links to the two collaborative communities I’m a part of and the work we’re doing. I still feel like we’re just getting started, but the work speaks for itself.

We just wrapped shooting on one of our projects and are heading into post-production. We’ve got a lot of friends helping out with that. We still need to build things like a website and a Vimeo page—but that’ll all come with time.

This kind of post isn’t usually what I write here, but whatever.

Here’s a little reflection on an incredible artist I recently discovered, and how her work has helped me gain perspective on life. Hope you enjoy it. Shoutout to the Cantor Arts Center, Maggie Dethloff, and most importantly, Lynn Hershman Leeson.

About two months ago, one of my professors took a few classmates and me to the Cantor Arts Center at Stanford University. The purpose of the trip was to inspire us for a project we were assigned for the quarter. We got to meet Maggie Dethloff, the photo curator at the Cantor, which was a pretty cool experience. After we toured the photo exhibit, we were free to explore the museum on our own—and that’s when I stumbled across an archival room dedicated to Lynn Hershman Leeson.

I had never heard of Lynn Hershman Leeson or seen any of her work before, but I was completely mesmerized by what I found. Before I talk about the specific piece that really caught my eye, here’s a little background on her:
Lynn Hershman Leeson is a multimedia artist and filmmaker, born in 1941. Originally from Cleveland, Ohio, she spent most of her career in San Francisco. Her work explores the use of media as a tool for empowerment, identity, and the human relationship with technology. A quote from the Cantor’s archival room reads:

“Always interested in finding ‘the medium of our time,’ Hershman Leeson asks important questions about the nature of humanity and technology.”

Lynn Turning into Roberta (1978) is the piece that inspired me to write this post. It’s a 5-minute, 24-second video on Betacam showing Lynn transforming herself into an alternate persona she created called “Roberta Breitmore.” From 1973 to 1978, Lynn actually lived as Roberta—she went so far as to get a driver’s license and open a checking account in Roberta’s name. (WOW.)
The work highlights the blurred boundaries of identity and how appearance can shape reality. It also critiques gender roles in both the art world and society at large, challenging assumptions about women and selfhood.

As a 21-year-old heading into my final year of college, the idea of blurred identity really hits home. I often feel like every decision I make could change the entire direction of my life—which is an exhausting (and probably unhelpful) mindset that I’m working on. Lynn Hershman Leeson’s exploration of identity has prompted me to think more deeply about these things. Honestly, if I hadn’t come across her work, I think I’d feel even more lost than I already do.

There’s something truly special about her art. If you’re like me and had never heard of her before, I highly recommend checking her out. Thanks for reading.

Enjoy this talk with my cool neighbor here in Santa Cruz. Check out her bands @strpwr, @trixierocks_, and @lovefield100 on Instagram.

https://strpwr.bandcamp.com/album/magic

What is your name? Where are you from? And what do you do?

My full name is Riley Cutler-Long. I’m from Riverside, California, and I currently work in a research laboratory—but I also play a lot of music.

What kind of research are you doing?

Cancer research, focusing on what controls the cell cycle.

How do you define what art is? And what makes someone an artist?

I feel like one of the most important things about art for me is storytelling. Being able to come up with a story from a piece of art is really important because that’s also what makes you human. I also think it should be evocative.

Reflection prompt – From the time that you have woken up to having this conversation right now, try to reflect on how much you have interacted with art today.

Lately, I’ve been getting really distracted by license plates and finding words or phrases in them—not vanity plates, just the regular ones you get when you register a car. I don’t know if that’s necessarily art, but it’s a fun moment when I’m walking and not thinking about my phone or work or anything. In that little game I play with myself, I find my mind wandering and have a creative moment. Today, I also played music, which was fun.

I know you are in a few different bands. Is it three?

Yes, it’s three now.

Could you tell me a little bit about them and how you balance being a part of all of them?

I never really thought I could be in a band until I came to college. I moved in with my current housemate and friend from back home, Nico. I always watched him play in bands in high school and thought it was really cool. In kind of an insecure teenager way, I was like, I could never do this—these boys just know how to play music, and this is something I wouldn’t be able to do.
Then I moved in with him, and he was always planning to start a band (Starpower) when he got to college. He asked me if I wanted to play bass for him. It turned into a real band, and it was my first time really playing music. It took me a while to feel like I could actually play, and I still don’t completely feel like I can—but last summer, I was invited to play with Henry from the band Ladders. I was flattered; it was kind of an ego boost. That’s how I started playing with him in my second band, Trixie.
That was last summer. Now, my very close friend Jackson has written a bunch of country songs that are really fun, so we started performing them live as Lovefield.
Honestly, I don’t know how I balance it all. I use a calendar and just schedule everything out. Sometimes it gets to be a bit much, but I always say yes to a lot of things—because they sound fun, but also because I feel a strong sense of commitment to all of them. Even if it got to be too much, I don’t think I could stop, because it’s just so fun. I don’t know—music is really fun.

When do you think your love for music started? Do you have any significant memories of when you first started playing?

I grew up with a cool Gen X dad—he introduced me to The Modern Lovers and Talking Heads. I don’t know anyone who loves David Bowie more than him. When I was figuring out what was cool and realized vinyl records were cool, I was so excited to look through my dad’s collection and steal all the good stuff—but it was basically all Bowie.
He was a cool music guy and took me to concerts. I had his electric guitar.
But I didn’t really fall in love with music until I started playing with other people. I didn’t feel like I could really play until I started collaborating. Especially with people who were better than me—and that truism is universal: the best way to get better is to do it with people who know more than you.

Do you remember the first show your dad took you to?

Yeah, it was actually the Avett Brothers. They were kind of a cringe Mumford & Sons-type band, but I was super into them when I was younger.
Also, very pivotal—my dad once said, “If I buy you this album, do you promise me you’re going to listen to it?” I was like, sure, whatever. The album was In the Aeroplane Over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel. That kind of set my trajectory.

Apart from music, do you practice any other creative mediums?

I inherited a pretty nice medium format camera from my dad, and for most of last year I worked at Bay Photo, so I could develop and scan my film for free. I was taking a lot of photos last year, but now it’s just too expensive. I still have some friends who could do it for me, but buying film is expensive.
I do like taking pictures.
For a while last year, I was making comics. I haven’t made one in a while, but some of my stuff has been in this Bay Area zine called Trickshot—shout out to Kaya, they’re awesome.
When I don’t feel creative, that’s when I start to feel down, so I try to keep it flowing however I can.

Who are your biggest inspirations—musicians or not?

Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of Silver Jews—David Berman. I don’t know if he inspires me, because he’s so sad and depressing, but I love the way he writes lyrics.
I also really like how Isaac Brock from Modest Mouse writes lyrics—they’re nonsensical but have a great sense of rhythm.
Those are two people I want to be more like musically.
For general inspiration, it’s my mom. I want to be more like my mom. It’s a cliché, but I should’ve never been mean to her as a teenager, and the older I get, the more I’m turning into her.

Any biology inspirations?

I don’t know—there are these really cool Japanese researchers, Reiji and Tsuneko Okazaki, who discovered something called Okazaki fragments. It’s just this insane biology thing—I can’t even explain it. You just have to watch a video. But it’s basically this crazy complex that replicates your DNA, and they figured it out.

How have you liked your time in Santa Cruz so far, and where do you see yourself going once school is over?

I don’t think I want to stay, but I’ve come to a place where I really, really love it.
When I first moved here, I was a little confused by how perfect it was. Growing up in Riverside, we had some of the worst air quality in the nation, and it’s just a sprawling suburb.
I guess I moved here and it felt too different, and college can make you feel kind of insulated. But now I’m so grateful—I can go on hikes, go to the beach.
Being here and having the opportunity to play shows is really cool. As silly as SubRosa is, it’s also really cool—it’s an anarcho-communist space.
I’ve been making a lot of friends with locals too—I have an 80-year-old friend named Linda (shout out Linda).
TL;DR: Santa Cruz is a great place to go to college, but I’m ready for the big city.

Do you think there is a good creative community in Santa Cruz? If so, how has it helped you gain perspective on art, and how have you grown as an artist?

Yes, I do think there’s a good community.
Sometimes I regret coming here—for whatever reason I might be feeling at the time—but honestly, the music brings me back and makes me really appreciative.
In high school, I really wanted to go to Berkeley because it seemed weird and musical. Nico and I talk about this—whatever we thought Berkeley was, we actually found it in Santa Cruz.
Which I guess is to say, what we thought college would be like—we found that here.
There’s such a nice community of artists, and I’ve met so many people. Music and art are also about connections, and being in three bands is the result of that. It’s the people I’ve met.

What are your goals with music and creativity as a whole? Could you see yourself having a career in the arts, or do you have other aspirations?

Honestly, the goal is just to have fun. I’ve recorded some stuff that should be coming out, and it’s cool to have proof that I did something.
But it’s really about fun and distraction—because when you’re playing music, you can only think about that.
It’s hard for me to get anxious or distracted when I’m playing.
I definitely don’t have any career goals with music—I think that would ruin it for me.
It’s nice to have a hobby that I let be what it is, without trying to perfect it.

Rapid Fire Questions

Favorite local band?
Parfait, @parfairt_band on Instagram. 

If you could eliminate one genre of music forever, what would it be?
Pop-punk.

Favorite fruit?
Banana.

Something you’ve been obsessed with recently?
“One for the Catholic Girls” by Simon Joyner.

Favorite movie?
Repo Man.

Coffee or tea?
Coffee.

Favorite show you’ve ever been to?
Alex G at Pappy & Harriet’s.

Favorite animal?
Dog.

Current favorite song?
“Tennessee” by Silver Jews.

To wrap this up, what does the near future look like for you? Future projects, shows, or just fun summer plans?

I really like Santa Cruz summers because I don’t have to go to parties—I can just chill, ride my bike, and play music.
I love playing during the day and then going home to watch a movie.
I just got a truck, so hopefully I can sit in the back on West Cliff, look at the ocean, and think about things.
My band Starpower has a song out called Magic on Bandcamp. We also have an album coming out—hopefully next month.
Hopefully, my other bands will release music soon too.

Any shows coming up?
My band Trixie is playing at the Crepe Place with Racecourse on June 19th for Redwood Records. I’m really looking forward to that one.

Enjoy This conversation I had with my good friend and housemate Graeme. Check out Racecourse on instagram @racecoursemusic and go listen to their EP on Bandcamp, link in their instagram bio!

What is your name, where are you from, and what do you do?

I’m Graeme Stage. I’m from Long Beach and I play guitar and bass in a band called Racecourse.

Tell me about the band you’re in. How did you all come together?

We started out as a three-piece—just me and my friends Joaquin and Jackson—playing ambient-style music. We kind of just threw on a bunch of reverb pedals and played really long songs. Over the last two years, we’ve added some new members, and it’s been really fun.

What does music mean to you?

To me, it’s an outlet—something separate from school, work, or whatever else is going on. It’s something I’m passionate about on the side.

Kind of a random question, but where do you see yourself in 40 years, at the age of 62?

When I’m 62, I’m going to be so cool. I’ll probably only listen to Skrillex… just kidding. I think music will always be a part of my life. I’ve got a record collection I love, and I bet I’ll still be adding to it. I think I’ll keep playing guitar as long as my hands let me.

You’re a student at UC Santa Cruz. Could you tell me a little about the Santa Cruz music scene? How has it shifted your perspective on music?

It opened up a lot for me. Before I was in a band, I thought being in one was way more serious than it actually is. I used to think you had to follow all these rules—but really, you can do whatever you want. You can take it super seriously, or just have fun with it like we are. We don’t go out of our way to get gigs—we just play when people ask us, and that’s been fun.

Another thing is, I used to be really focused on having the best gear, but I’ve realized when you’re playing live, it doesn’t really matter. As long as you have a loud amp and a decent guitar, that’s all you really need.

Do you have any goals with music? I know you guys just released an EP on Bandcamp. Any future plans?

Definitely recording a full album with the boys would be cool.

Who are “the boys”?

Racecourse. I’m going to be back in Long Beach for a while, so maybe I’ll record some stuff on my own. I just want to keep doing what I’m doing—maybe start a new band in Long Beach.

No plans to be a DJ?

Being a DJ would be really fun—not an electronic DJ, but I’d love to be a vinyl DJ. It’s expensive and you need a lot of gear, but it would be awesome.

I know you’re a big basketball fan, so I’ve got two questions for you.

Lakers in 5. Lakers in 5.

Who do you have winning the chip?

Gotta be my boy SGA.

If you were to compare yourself to an all-time NBA player, who would it be?

Let’s stick with a Laker. I don’t think I’m like a center when I play guitar—but on bass, maybe. I don’t know… maybe I’m like Pau Gasol. Someone who’s fire but not the greatest of all time.

Any upcoming shows or things you want to plug for yourself or Racecourse?

We’re playing a few shows before we all graduate, so look out for some gigs in Santa Cruz.

When is commencement? Are you excited?

June 15th. I’m so pumped to enter the workforce! 

What’s going to be your hype-up song for graduation?

Probably Runner by Alex G.

Sick. Thank you, Graeme Stage.

Hello,

If you’re reading this, thank you. My name is Gavin Kennedy and I have created this website to talk about/showcase artists and their art. My main goal for this website is to create a space for people to recognize artists and forms of art that may not be reachable in other ways. I want to primarily focus on local and smaller artists in my blog posts but will also discuss bigger names and exhibitions.

Since I talked about the website and my main goals for it, I will talk a little about myself. I am a 2o year old film student from Southern California, I am currently attending UC Santa Cruz going into my senior year. Although I am studying film all types of art and creation excite me. I am unsure of what my life is going to look like after college but I know I want art to be a big part of my life. Creation has always been a big part of my life and this website will be a great outlet for me. Like I said before if you are reading this I seriously appreciate you. My first post talking about art will be soon.

Needed a cover so here’s some prints I made the other day. Have a Great Day.